Life can be a fun ride sometimes, other times things shift or change which can make the ride a bit tougher. During these times, I always search for a way to get back to my most basic self- in the process, I've started reading up on meditation. It's something that I have always been interested in- and something that seems so easy but in reality, clearing your mind is a bit harder than one would expect. Trying to quiet the thoughts that pull you in every direction, whether they are good, bad, exciting, or mundane- it sometimes feels nearly impossible to master quieting them. This past week, I forced myself to sit in the quite calm of my room, close my eyes, and just exist for a short 30 minutes. It's amazing how antsy you can get when left in the quiet and how 30 minutes can feel like forever. The first 10 minutes were the most difficult- once again struggling to quiet the noise held in my mind. And then something awesome happened- a full sensation of calmness came over me, the noise left- and for those remaining 20 minutes, I existed. Just existed. No agenda, no influences, just me and the space. For me, this is where the creativity comes in. It's a whole other side of my person. Its amazing to see that when you are left to your own devices, your mind can create amazing things. I have been exploring the idea to two sides to every creature lately- the side that is "normal" by the standards of society or your "ego" and then the not so obvious more organic form- the one were ideas happen and risks are taken. In my mind, this side creates a vulnerability that most tend to hide- I know that I'm guilty of it, I sometimes think that that's why I paint. But what's sad about this situation is that it is this hidden side that holds the most beauty. I have drawn multiple creatures from this angle- and almost every person connects with the not-so-normal take on whatever creature it is. Now, I'm not saying that the so-called "normal" side is negative but I feel like this other organic part is what connects you to others. When that's hidden- those connections never stand a chance. Even connecting with yourself. I'm finding that the more I embrace the creative, weird side- the more I connect with those around me. It seems that everyone is just looking for others to connect their vulnerabilities with. But who knows, these are just my thoughts.....and they may not even make sense. But I appreciate the quiet times that allow me to see my own vulnerabilities and love the humans that allow me to share them.
I came across this phrase while reading a thing today. It was so simply placed between a long explanation of life things and fancy thoughts- I'm a sucker for some good life reads. And woah dooooods, what a wonderful thought it is. It's too easy to get attached to the idea of wanting something to work and putting the "but if only..." in front of whatever it is- a change, a desire, a need to feel content- trying to force the pieces to fall into place when they're just not meant to fall. So I am thankful for this tiny phrase, reminding me that letting go of the ideas that aren't meant for this story is a-ok, and that's pretty darn cool. So, I doodled it